Instead of seeking consistency in yourself or others — because we’re made of countless parts and those parts have parts and all those parts are capable of relating to each other — try to find and nurture emotionally safe harbors where all those parts can, when and where and with whom appropriate, yell, scream, dance, smile, shoot milk out of their noses laughing, move like a dork, seduce, whimper, paint, fuck, cry, and all other manners of live.